Why was Sice afraid of Seven?
by dikemon
Summary: Jack thought it would be a harmless joke. Boy, was he wrong.
1. Chapter 1

_**Why was Sice afraid of Seven? **__  
>(disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy Type-0)<em>

_Note this was written before the game was released._

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><p>Jack looked at the classroom, it looked so empty! Ace, Sice, Nine, Queen, King, Rem, and Machina were all sent to do special missions by Kura-what's-his-face and Trey, Cinque and Cater were still missing!<p>

_I bet they are still cutting classes_…Jack thought to himself. It was a little prank that Class Zero thought for a while. When they heard that they were going to have a new teacher, the class plotted to make a prank. They would cut classes to make that new teacher think that all his students were absent! Why not? They were teenagers facing war, they needed some fun. Ace, Rem, Machina, and Queen decided against it though. Somehow they forced Nine to join them, so the rest were at home, chilling out with each other.

Then _that_ happened. Ace gave them messages that said their new teacher would give a treat to the first two students who came back.

Jack stood tall and resisted. When he tried to call King, no one answered. The same went with Sice and Eight. Then the next new thing he knew, Eight gave a panicked call and told everyone that they were in serious trouble if they don't come back.

So he, Seven, and Deuce came back together, and the next thing they knew; detention.

Funny thing? Sice and King, who decided to cut classes with them, didn't get any punishment. In fact, they were somehow rewarded. They were able to fight the war, while the four of them are stuck in a classroom with a moogle as their guard. Those traitors...

Don't be fooled by the moogle though. Eight and Jack tried to run, but the moogle had to…it was just too scary think about again. They somewhat had a fear of moogles after that day.

Jack slumped back in his seat. Seven and Eight were sparring in front of the classroom, Eight swiftly dodging Seven's whip and going in for the punch. Jack sighed and went out of the classroom. As soon as he closed the door, he heard Eight screaming for mercy. That idiot, never mess with Seven is the number two rule next to never mess with Sice. That girl was pretty insane if you get her pissed.

Wait, Seven, Eight, Sice…this is brilliant. He ran out of the school and went to the courtyard. He saw Deuce sitting on the stairs, playing her flute. Jack couldn't hide his grin and went up to her "Deuce! Deuce! Do I have a joke for you!"

Deuce stopped playing and looked at him curiously. Jack's jokes were a hit or miss. Sometimes, put the emphasis on _some_-times, they could be a knock-out, and most of the other times…

"Alright. Tell me."

Jack couldn't contain it anymore "Why was Sice afraid of Seven?"

She raised her eyebrows, what an interesting question. She thought about it. Why would Sice be afraid of Seven? Sice wasn't scared of anything "Why?"

"`Cause Seven Eight Nine!" Jack howled with laughter. Deuce took time to analyze the joke and then got it. A chuckle followed almost immediately. Then she started to laugh with him.

"You get it? You get it? Seven Eight Nine, it's like saying Seven ate Nine!" Jack nearly tripped down the stairs.

"You should tell the others." Deuce suggested, "They might really like it!"

"Might?" Jack looked at her with a crazy look "They'll love it!"

The two went back inside the classroom to find Eight with a cut on his cheek. Seven was trying to cure it, but Eight squirmed and tried to avoid it.

"Come on, stay still." Seven tries to aim her hand on his cheek, but Eight keeps fidgeting.

"Using Cure stings and the cut isn't that bad!" Eight tried to escape, but Seven glared at him and he stopped. She aimed her spell on him and he let out a short scream.

"That hurts!" he said as he rubbed his cheek. Jack couldn't help but snicker when he saw that.

"Lost again, Eight?"

"It was a draw!" he answered back. He isn't one to accept defeat.

"Sure." Jack rolled his eyes.

Deuce entered and shook him on the arm "Tell them."

"Tell us what?" Seven asked as she tried to clean the blood from her whip.

"Okay! Guys! Listen to this!" Jack grinned "Why was Sice afraid of Seven?"

Eight raised an eyebrow "Why would Sice be afraid of Seven? She isn't even scared of death if you ask me." he looked at the silver haired girl "No offense." He added quickly.

Seven shook her head "None taken. Why would Sice be afraid of me?"

Deuce couldn't help it anymore "Because you ate Nine!"

Seven dropped her whip (which was really heavy that it made a thudding sound) and Eight looked at Jack with disgust.

"That's sick…" Eight was shaking his head "Why would you tell her that? Is that even a joke?"

Deuce to them was like the little sister. She was a pure soul and a joke like this…well…

"No. No! No, no, no, no!" Jack shook his head furiously "Deuce…" he hissed.

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked sheepishly. He sighed, he can't be mad at her.

"Let me say it this time." He said in a much calmer voice "Okay, why was Sice afraid of Seven?"

"Why?" Seven asked reluctantly.

"Seven," he pointed to the silver haired girl, "Eight" he moved to the monk, "Nine?" he drew a scar on his face with his finger and hoped that he wouldn't be punched by Eight at that moment.

Instead, there was silence. That can't be good.

"You're getting me involved in this one! Dude, that is so gross!" Eight shouted at him. He had to be restrained by Seven, who looked like she wanted to punch him herself.

Jack hid behind Deuce, who looked confused by all this "You don't get it?"

Seven looked at her, still trying to hold onto an enraged Eight, "Deuce, this is something that is inappropriate."

"How?"

Eight, finally calmed down, looked at her and stammered "W-well."

"Jeez." Jack interrupted "I never meant it that way. You guys are the perverts for thinking it that way."

Eight and Seven cheeks went red and looked at the ground. Deuce, still not getting it all, wondered aloud, "How is the joke perverted?"

Jack groaned and finally thought about the consequences of the joke. Nine wouldn't like this joke and Sice...yikes. "Maybe it's not a good joke after all, Deuce. Promise me you wouldn't mention it to the guys when they come back, alright?"

The thing was, Deuce never promised, and so when the others returned from their special mission, Jack found a spear nearly thrown to his face in the morning, and was nearly sucked into a black hole after lunch.

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><p><em>AN: I was bored! When I was reading the names of Class Zero in order, I remembered that classic joke of seven eight nine. Well, I thought about the characters, found it was gross, and decided to make a story out of this mess. Yeah…_

_Demo is epic. You should get it. Really wanted to play Eight, Seven, Deuce, and Jack though -3- Still amazing though, Nine is boss :D._

_And I looked at the other Type-0 stories...you guys have pairings already? I'm amazed. Don't expect that from me (yet...)  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Who said photos held only the good times?_

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><p>The team of seven students had finally returned back. All of them were safe and sound. They were tired, yes, but they had completed their mission that it did not seem to matter.<p>

They entered the classroom to see Jack sleeping, Seven jotting down notes, and Eight and Deuce talking to each other. Nine gave a big yawn and wanted to sleep. He headed towards his desk only to find Jack sleeping on it.

"Hey idiot, get out!" he poked Jack with the butt of his spear. The blond groggily looked up at him and immediately stepped out.

Nine gave a questioned look "Wha? Did ya see a ghost or something?"

Jack, who held his lips together, shook his head very quickly. He then ran away to the opposite side of the room and hid behind Seven.

"What's up with him?" Nine asked himself, but shrugged and slouched on his seat.

Rem looked around. "Huh? Where's Sir Kurasame?"

"What? He wasn't with you?" Deuce looked at them but saw no trace of their teacher.

"Alright!" Nine cheered. "We get to skip his boring lessons. Now who wants to go eat?"

"Don't!" Eight and Jack cried at the same time. The seven students gave them a look.

"Is something wrong?" Queen asked them.

Eight looked nervously at the moogle behind them.

"The devil…" he whispered to them.

"Aw!" Rem ran towards the "devil" and hugged it.

"No! Rem you-" Jack tried to stop her, but Ace interrupted.

"It's a moogle. They're harmless." He tried to reason. Eight and Jack went behind their desks, but…nothing happened.

"Is this a joke?" King asked the two boys.

"Kupo!" the moogle said affectionately as Rem rubbed his head.

Eight and Jack looked at each other and Jack shook his head, "This is a lie…"

"So, we can go get lunch, right?" Rem asked the moogle in a sweet tone.

"Of course, kupo. Enjoy!"

"Yes!" Nine did a fist pump. He, King, Queen, Machina, Deuce, and Sice left the classroom.

"Hmm?" Rem looked at the two boys and asked, "You're not going to eat?"

Jack looked at the moogle carefully "We might get in trouble…"

She gave them a questioned look. Then she noticed a light scar on Eight's cheek, "What happened there?"

Eight groaned while Jack grinned and slung his arm over the monk's shoulder. "Eight-boy here got defeated by Seven."

"It was a draw!" Eight hissed and slapped Jack's arm away. Jack could only snicker.

"Oh!" Ace went towards them with a copy of the school newspaper in hand. "Look, we made the cover!"

The other three crowded towards him. It showed those of Class Zero who actually _went _on the mission. Jack sighed, "_You_guys made the cover."

"Come on Rem." Ace gestured towards to the girl. "I'm sure the others are waiting."

"Alright! First time we will have the cafeteria food in ages!" Jack grinned. Him and the monk happily skipped to the door, even Seven seemed happy, until-

"You still have detention to serve, kupo." The moogle said in a devilish tone that only Eight and Jack noticed "Stay here, or else…"

Jack looked back and forth, "But, they- Lunch. Deuce. Oh come on!"

The three sat beside each other and suffered together. Seven picked up the newspaper Ace had and began reading. In an instant, she began to turn red. "S-Sir Moogle, m-may I use t-the r-r-est ro-om."

"Alright, kupo." He said in his normal, cute, Moogle voice.

"What's up with her?" Jack wondered. Eight picked up the newspaper and went to the page Seven stopped on. He now knew why Seven turned red since he quickly turned bright scarlet.

The blond noticed them. "Huh? What's wrong with you?"

That's when he saw blood dripping from his nose. Jack looked around and pulled out a handkerchief from Queen's desk.

_Miss Perfect won't mind._Jack thought as he pushed it against Eight's nose. He then casted a Cure spell and the bleeding stopped.

"What just happened there?" He asked, curious.

He looked at the newspaper article. The category was Bachelor's Corner. There was an article on how to get women. Blah, blah. Normal trash. And then he turned the page and found pictures of the Class Zero girls who went on the mission…except, they weren't normal pictures…

Oh man…simply…underwear shots...

Machina would be furious that his childhood friend fell victim to this. Queen would find the source of all this. And Sice…oh Sice.

"Kupo." The devil said.

_Goodbye world._

"What are you looking at, kupo?" his devilish voice went deeper.

"N-nothing!" Jack lied.

"Kupo. What you are doing is very bad. I believe Kurasame would want me to punish you."

Jack shakily looked back and saw the moogle slowly transforming into a bigger monster. Its clothes began to tear and so did its fur. From white to blue, it grew larger and transformed into a strong beast infamously known as the Behemoth. Why amongst all things bad must it be a Behemoth?

It growled at them and tried to hit them with its spiky tail. Luckily, Eight was able to pull them away in the nick of time. Jack summoned his katana.

"You and me. Ready?"

Eight gave a weak smile and cracked his knuckles, "No choice."

And together, the two fought death itself.

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><p><em>Somewhere in the courtyard…<em>

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><p>"Because Seven Eight Nine!" Deuce said merrily.<p>

There was no response until Sice and Nine summoned their weapons and said at the same time, "I'm going to kill him."

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><p><em>AN: Thankies to Yuki for being my beta! _

_A sort of sequel to as why Eight and Jack are scared of moogles.I'm calling him Moohemoth!…or Boogle. Wouldn't he be just adorable as a pet? And he can kill you as well! Oh the joy!_

__ And also a reference to all those pantsu shots going around, perverts. __

_I may write one last chapter concerning what exactly Sice did to Jack…poor guy :P_


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